Wish List:The Gifts I Wish I Could Give

This year, for Christmas, I am broke. I have nothing that I can give with money. My kids are blessed with grandparents that live across the country who have graciously sent money for Christmas and only by my ex will my name be one them. It is the first time in my life I have been in the position of not being able to give this year. But it is what is and I can only hope that better times are to come.
So this is my Wish List this year; the gifts that I would want to give to those close to me if I could. Some of them are things money cannot buy but rather more like prayers for them.

For my kids: I wish voice and art lessons for both of my girls, and a musical theater workshop for my thirteen year old. For my youngest, my boy, I wish for him to be able to play a sport and take the Lego classes at the Parks and Rec as he is great with computer building but I want him to expand his skills to real life building. I want to not have to tell them that I can’t afford to take them to see a movie in the theater or I would LOVE to take them to see a LIVE theater performance.

For my mom: My mom is a solid rock. She gives way more than she gets. Over the years, as she has opened her house to family members and pets, there was been some damage done, a carpet ruined, and a parrot who ate through a window ledge. I wish for her repairs for her house. A new paint job, a better dishwasher…and someday soon my own place so that my kids and I can be out of her hair every day.

For me Ex: Yes, I want something for him. He needs his apartment to come through. He has been on a waiting list for a year and will be losing his place to live soon. Once he has his own place he can have more regular visits with his kids, and I know that would make him feel better.

For my friend, J.R.: I wish for her the gift of time, and I wish I could afford to pay for and personal assistant for her to help with non-essentials while she is working multiple jobs, trying to get her Masters degree and working on a novel.

For my friend, R.K.: I wish a visit from her husband over the holidays since he has moved temporarily for a better job opportunity. I know she is missing him and a visit over Christmas would light her up.

For my Friend, M.W.: I wish for many years of happiness in their new house. I hope they are able to create the back yard they dream of, and I wish for her to have her art room ready so she can sell her gorgeous cards and wedding invitations.

For my friend, L.B.: I wish for her surgery on her hands to go well. I want her to be able to write again without being in pain. I wish for her to fill journal pages with her beautiful poetry and not have to stop because her hands hurt.

For me: I want to always believe there is a Santa. I want to believe that no matter the hardship, in the end, it will be all right. My favorite Christmas story is that have Virginia and her letter to the Sun. I love the reply that is written to her. Here it is below, taken from the New York Sun’s website:

Dear Editor—

I am 8 years old. Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus. Papa says, “If you see it in The Sun, it’s so.” Please tell me the truth, is there a Santa Claus?

Virginia O’Hanlon
115 West Ninety Fifth Street

Virginia, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men’s or children’s, are little. In this great universe of ours, man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus! It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginias. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence.

We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The external light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.

Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies. You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas Eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if you did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that’s no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

You tear apart the baby’s rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived could tear apart. Only faith, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, Virginia, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.

No Santa Claus! Thank God! He lives and lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay 10 times 10,000 years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.


“Is There a Santa Claus?” reprinted from the September 21, 1897, number of The New York Sun.

So, I want to know, always that Santa is out there in the world, and I will always believe in him. Happy Holidays to you and your family, no matter what you celebrate. May you find peace, love and kindness in your journey, comfort in those you love, and happiness in your spirit.


2 thoughts on “Wish List:The Gifts I Wish I Could Give

  1. I’m sorry you’re having a tough year financially. This time of year can be so difficult. I had so little to give a few years back and decided I would bake a gingerbread house for my boyfriend (now hubby) – it looked awful, the roof caved in, candy wouldn’t stick etc. I was so upset, but it was all I had to give and so I did. He loved it, took it home and ate it.

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